As a true-blue movie fan. I’ve easily watched more than 1,000 movies at the cinema and hundreds more on DVD, HBO, Showtime, the Movie Channel, etc. In 30+ years of movie watching I have walked out of only two – Zoolander (2001) and Purple Rain (1984).*
I walked out at the point where Zoolander was pumping gas, drinking Orange Frapacinos and dancing with his friends to Wham!’s “Wake Me Up Before You Go Go“. My less-than sophisticated one-word assessment of the movie from the 16 minutes I watched back then was – gay!
I had no intention of attempting this movie again. But in the intervening years, too many pop-culture references and friend recommendations made their impact. And, perhaps Owen Wilson’s recent suicide attempt may have weekend my resolve. So when I saw it in my TiVo listings as an HD broadcast on City TV, I relented.
With some trepidation and a willingness to accept the possibility that my tastes may have changed in 7 years, I sat down and watched it.
The cast was impressive: Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Will Ferrell and numerous big-name cameos. I genuinely enjoyed There’s Something About Mary (1998), Meet the Parents (2000), Meet the Fockers (2004) and other Ben Stiller movies. Owen Wilson’s Wedding Crashers (2005), Shanghai Noon (2000) and other movies are quite funny. So I have nothing against Ben or Owen. I also enjoy watching Christine Taylor. She’s a cutie. But, with the possible exceptions of Talladega Nights (2006) and Elf (2003) , I have disliked every movie Will Ferrell has been in.
As I watched, laptop on lap, typing this review in real-time, I had every intention of pointing out that I didn’t crack a smile once. But, I must admit, in four, count’m four, places the movie did manage to make me smile. How could you not smile at the idea of a “Derick Zoolander Center for Kids that Can’t Read Good” ?
For what its worth, neither Owen nor Ben struck me as credible real-world models.
My assessment after enduring the entirety of the movie once again: While I’ve seen worse (not many), it was ridiculous, preposterous and still gay! (not that there’s anything wrong with that.)
I wanted to walk out of Natural Born Killers (1994) after 5 minutes but my born-again-Christian date wanted to stay to the end. I wish we’d walked out.
At twelve years of age I wanted to walk out of Voyage of the Damned (1976) but my brother thought it would be educational. Perhaps, but it still ranks as one of the 3 or 4 worst movie experiences I’ve ever had.
Had I been alive in 1941, I would have walked out of Citizen Kane – arguably the most over-rated movie in cinema history.